Most FAV Christmas story of allllllll time—-

| December 8, 2011

This is a ‘repeat’ Christmas Story—but all the best stories deserve to be told over and over and over again……

———————–THIS WAS CHRISTMAS 2007——————————-

I think I shall—-

It all started with a little Christmas cheer and a lot of Holiday heartiness to decorate the homestead. With most (99.9 percent) of my Christmas decorations being ruined in the Great St. Matthews Flood of 2006, my kind and generous family donated to the cause of TERRA. My sister gave me her old tree and I dug out my ‘family’s’ old Christmas lights, bought new ornaments….and away I went.—-Oh yeah, I had to make new garland too—-WHAT A CRAZY MESS that was—-in my basement-HA!!!!

Okay—-

DAY ONE(Friday 9:00pm): so it starts with piecing the tree together–no biggie. Now to go through the old lights, detangle, and check that they all work—ALL’S GOOD!…..Start at the bottom of tree, working my way to the top–I JUST LOVE A WELL LIT TREE–I’m starting off with about 400 white lights—got half way up the tree (mind you, it’s not a huge tree) and ran out of lights, so I stopped for the night.

DAY TWO(Monday 5:00pm) : Been to Wally World, got 400 more lights–I’M READY TO GET THIS DONE– Got all lights on tree, looking great. Garland on— Mom and little sis stop by–take break to chat– back to the grindstone–put the poinsettias on first, then the berries–lastly the ornaments. HARK–I didn’t buy enough ornaments….soooooo off to Michael’s/Big Lots/Wally World/Tuesday Mornings (got a few other things while out) Back home, I put the finishing touches on the tree—sit down the enjoy and decide how to take Miss Prada’s picture—-WHAMIE—BAMIE—Out goes the lights……well ALL except the bottom strand—Arrgh!!….So I start checking the connections–all seem tight, so I take ALL the ornaments off—leaving the poinsettias, berries and garland on while unplugging the lights (while still on tree as well) and plugging directly into wall—-found that the second strand of lights were the ‘bad bunch’—so I just took them off, connected the first strand to the third and filled the empty spaces with the LAST strand of lights—plugging this strand directly into the wall unit as oppose to the others, that were plugged into the ‘light line’. ALL GOOD AGAIN……so I proceed to put the ornaments back onto the tree—Oh my—my tree is soooooo pretty!!!! and SHAA~ZAMM!!!! All the lights except the strand plugged directly into the wall unit goes BLANK–OUT–NADDANOLIGHT!!! You’ve got to be kiddin me!!!!! —searching around for the vodka (jokie-joke) I decide to just take ALL the old lights, leaving on the new lights I just purchased and get some more new lights. So off comes the poinsettias, berries, ornaments, garland–and I start taking off the lights and find an extremely old looking strand–I take it off first—-plug it into the wall unit—and it doesn’t work–HUMPT!!!! Okie-Dokie now….gotta find the light line that they came from and plug the others back into the light line—-took sometime–but found the disconnect and got the lights back to glittering their little selves silly—-on goes the garland—-poinsettia one on tree, poinsettia two on tree…..Fa La La FREAKIN LA!!!!— Half lights on— half OUT!!!!!! It’s ONE ~BLASTED~ THIRTY in the MOURNing!!!! To bed—pissed—Merry #$%##$ Christmas!!!!

DAY THREE(Tuesday 5:00 pm): Ran to Wal-Mart at lunch–got 700 BRAND SPACKIN NEW lights—replacing ALL the old—gonna work now muther tuper– Soooooo off the tree poinsettia one, off the tree poinsettia two—off garland—OFF ALL LIGHTS…..Only going to use the 400 lights from the other day and the BRAND SPACKIN NEW lights I got at lunch……I double-check the 4 strands (of new lights) that just came off tree—they work, so back on the tree they go—now for the BRAND SPACKIN NEW lights—were did I put them….Oh, on the dining room table—go to open the first box—my 700 BRAND SPACKIN NEW lights are multi-color—$%#%–can’t blame anyone but ME—-giggling, to keep from sitting that gosh-darn tree on FIRE (fire, I say!!!) –hop into car—vrroom~vrroom back to Wally World for the quick exchange for white lights—-home again—open bottle of wine—pour glass more then half way full –now back to the tree…..LIFE IS LOVELY, isn’t it…..lights on—more vino for me—garland on, glass needed refill—poinsettia’s on—bottle needed refill—Oop! WOKE UP tree looks GREAT and the LIGHTS were still on!!!!! The ornaments and berries must of magically jumped back on the tree—it’s not like they didn’t know where to hang themselves, now is it?!?!!?!??……..

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Category: Blogs, News, Terra Times

About the Author (Author Profile)

Terra Jackson
Welcome to the wild, wriskly world of TERRA.

The intent of this blog is to share my thoughts, opinions, wanderings about and evenings out. But I would also like to share some of your stories, questions, concerns and opinions – hence, my e-mail address is terrajackson@insightbb.com. Please e-mail me with what you would like to discus or share on my blog, and I’ll try to make that happen. You will shortly notice my “Terra Terms” – yes, I will make up words – but they are fairly easy to understand their meaning. NO, my grammar is not perfect and my spelling is even worse. If I can’t spell a word, I’ll just make up my own because that is the way I roll. So sit back, hold on tight and on with the show!

Comments (6)

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  1. BIG says:

    Terra Jackson, you are such a great, funny writer. I remember this story and am glad you shared again. Wish you a good holiday.

  2. MJ says:

    You are soooo funny !! LOVE YOU !!!

  3. Rick says:

    TJ hope ur tree went up better this year. Wish u and ur family a happy holiday

    Always…

  4. Becky says:

    I love this story I could read it over and over and I DO!!!!! Too Funny girl and so YOU!!!! Love you

  5. Tabitha says:

    Terra-

    That sounds like a Lampoon Moment…great story!!

  6. SIS From another Mother says:

    Always a good read!!!