Sex on the First Date

| December 8, 2011

When is it OK to have sex on the first date? There is no real straight answer. It all depends on your gender, your attitude, and your situation.

I was mulling this over as I watched Corporate Kitten pack her overnight bag, wearing only a bathrobe and a smile. She had the body of a swimsuit model, which I couldn’t help but admire as she executed her morning make-up ritual.

I met her in a sushi bar the day after the Superbowl, which coincided with the worst hangover I’ve ever had.


Not even Yoga could cleanse me of the Wick’s Pizza and beer I had consumed to excess the night before. Penny Sake Night at Wild Ginger was my only hope.

She sat down next to me, reading a book. Despite the fact that she was beautiful, it was really the book that caught my attention. You don’t see many hot women alone at a sushi bar reading. In fact, you don’t see many hot women sitting alone anywhere, which spoke miles about her personality in itself.

I quietly despaired that I was too hungover to talk to anyone, and resigned myself to watching replays of Chrisitina Aguilera screwing up the national anthem on the screen while I wolfed down rice and Hamachi.

She decided to break the ice for me, and after 2 bottles of sake and a long conversation, I asked her out. She had just moved to Louisville and obviously needed a ‘local guy’ chaperone.

Out of the goodness of my heart I promptly volunteered.

We had a luxurious dinner at the Mayan Café and a quick tour of Old Town Liquors, then she invited me up to her condo for a drink of Havana Rum. We got friendly on the couch.

Eight hours later I was looking at her voluptuous figure in her bathroom mirror, mulling over the question foremost in my mind. Was it OK to have sex on the first date? Did it really matter anymore?

As far as men go, it’s our job to try and get you to have sex on the first date. Any success or failure will be completely reflective to our ego.

As long as you’re attractive and not desperate, we’ll just see it as an example of our charm and sex appeal that was too much for you to resist.

We’ll be too busy patting ourselves on the back to question your motives.

Sex on the first date, for both parties, can simply be an expression of mutual attraction, independence and lack of leisure time in the fast-paced modern world. Who has time for all that courtship?

As I watched Corporate Kitten pack for her business trip in a luxury condo, I had to allow for the fact that I was no more than a blip on her radar screen. But has sex ceased to have traditional meaning? Did it ever really have much meaning at all? Can a woman use a man for sex and walk away with her reputation intact? Perhaps. I was certainly planning to call her again.

She was a high-heeled, high-powered, highly independent woman. As I watched her saunter away in her white shirt and tight business-casual slacks I wondered if I would ever see her again (I would).

You know what? It didn’t matter. We both had a great time, and there were no expectations. One-night-stands are no longer sleazy self-esteem losers.

They’re simply the product of two modern people with modern schedules, trying to enjoy the small amount of time they have in a modern world, without expectations, consequence, or judgment.

So go forth and enjoy your evening ladies! Just do it with style and independence. We men promise not to complain.


Category: Bachelor Behavior

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