Recipes for a lasting relationship

| January 20, 2011

Since this is our fabulous wedding issue, I asked several happy and inspirational couples to share with me their recipe for a lasting relationship. Many of the twosomes with whom I spoke have been together long enough to know what works and what doesn’t.
On the flipside, I also gave a platform to the newly married, and though they are still in that giddy newlywed stage, their stories were definitely refreshing.

Sidney and Matthew McCartin.

Sidney and Matthew McCartin.

The McCartins

Sidney and Matthew McCartin are a strikingly handsome couple who have made Louisville their home for the past three of their eight years of marriage. Both serve on civic and charitable boards and show their support for the community by attending numerous functions throughout the year.

But what makes the McCartins marriage so special is their mutual devotion and respect. When I asked Sidney to tell me something that didn’t go quite so well at their wedding, she immediately began to tell me a story that demonstrated her belief that nothing could stop her from marrying her true love.

“The night before our wedding, I stayed in our wedding night suite by myself. The morning of the wedding the electricity went out in our hotel due to a terrible storm, forcing me to get dressed alone in the dark! My sister attempted to rescue me, but opened the door to the hallway several floors below and could see only darkness. It was pitch black and navigating her way to my room was clearly an impossible feat. I was on my own.

“By a small window above the toilet, I applied my makeup using a small compact mirror! It was funny, in hindsight. Nevertheless, it caused me to be 45 minutes late for my own wedding. Matthew didn’t bring his cell phone, so I wasn’t able to call and tell him. Needless to say, everyone in the church was relieved when I arrived!”

Sidney gave me this recipe for a lasting and loving relationship.

Recipe For Love

  • One cup of mutual respect
  • One cup laughter
  • 1/4 cup adoration
  • A dash of sensitivity, kindness and understanding

Mix it all together with honesty and love and bake until done. Optional: A bit of sassiness helps along the way!

Phil and Laurie (Dobbins) Brun.

Phil and Laurie (Dobbins) Brun.

The Bruns

Phil and Laurie (Dobbins) Brun are an extremely cute – and newlywed – couple who both tend to light up a room. One would extrapolate that there would be some competition between such an exuberant pair, but quite the opposite seems to be true.

I did see their competitive spirits flair, however, when I asked to tell me a story about a significant part of their wedding day. Phil considerately let Laurie answer first.

“I think the most romantic part of our wedding day was when I received a surprise gift from my husband to be. I wasn’t expecting anything and all of a sudden my maid of honor brought me a gift. It was a wool wrap that matched my wedding dress perfectly.

“He hadn’t seen my dress, and I was terrified that I was going to freeze. He thinks about me so much that not only was it perfect, but his hand-written note on a vintage card was all I needed to complete my bridal “˜to-do’ list to carry something old down the isle.”

As for Laurie’s recipe for love, she says, “knowing what your partner needs before they even ask!”

Just as quickly, Phil jumped in with one of his favorite anecdotes:,  “Yes, we both gave each other gifts delivered to one another by her maid of honor just prior to our wedding at the Peterson-Dumesnil House. She had a pair of cuff links custom made by From The Vault with our pet word “Mucho” engraved, which was perfect because I had not been satisfied with how any of my current ones went with my tux.

So here I get an amazing note from the woman I was going to marry that made me cry and awesome cuff links!,  Mucho is “much love” in our special language.”

In regards to a recipe for love, he said, “We’ve only been married for a bit more than a year, so I think we are finding which ingredients work the best. I think we try to treat most things as celebrations because you just have more fun that way.”

Kirby Adams and JOhn GRANTZ (married 14 years)
“On a very hot (105 degrees) Fourth of July my friend, Peter Burkhart, and I were planning on going mountain biking. He decided it was too hot, which was a good call, and asked me if I wanted to drive down to Kentucky Lake and go sailing with a friend of his.

“When we got there, this “˜cute guy’ was sailing the boat and a very pretty woman was with him. I figured it was his girlfriend. Since I am also a sailor, I helped out quite a bit and that night the guy asked me if I would stay for two more days to help him sail. Turned out, the pretty woman was his sister!

“Of course, the guy was John and he likes to say, “˜I got on his boat and never got off,’ which is true. We sailed through the Abaco Islands for our honeymoon.

“Our recipe for love is a good boat, a sunny summer day, some cool drinks and the willingness to embrace new adventure.”

There are many recipes for happiness, however, all happy couples eventually discover,  that a good marriage is a bit like a pet lion; you feed it every day or bad things happen. So remember, daily habits are extremely helpful in forging solid marriages and little things you do for each other go a long way.

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Category: Around Town

About the Author (Author Profile)

Shari Baughman
In addition to her duties as a society columnist and photographer, Shari Baughman handles business and community relations for The Voice-Tribune.

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