Up a roof without a ladder

| October 12, 2011

I’m not Superman.

Although my nephew (who wore a red cape nearly every day for a year) used to suspect I was hiding a red and blue leotard under my clothes. It all added up to him: I was tall, had dark curly hair and worked for a newspaper, just like Clark Kent.

But let it be known, the similarities stop there. And that all became very evident while cleaning out the gutters the other day.

Since I do in fact lack the ability to fly, I used a rickety four-foot aluminum ladder to climb onto the roof of my house. Standing on the top step (yes, I know there’s a warning against that) I pulled myself up to get to a section of gutters overhanging the garage.

After a few minutes of pulling muck out of the gutters, it was time to get down, and that’s when it hit me: The ladder was too far down for my foot to reach.

I was stranded eight feet from the ground.

I had two choices: I could take a blind leap of faith and hope my foot hit the top step or I could signal my wife who was inside the house.

I decided on the latter.

Our dog was lying outside in the sun, so I tried to get her to signal my wife.

“Go get mommy,” I called to her. “Go on.”

She perked up, turned her head sideways quizzically and slumped back down.

And that’s when I was hit by another realization: My dog is not Lassie. But honestly, I knew that one already.

I found some pebbles on the roof and tossed them at a first-floor window hoping my wife would hear them. She didn’t.

I needed something more substantial, so I took off my shoe and threw it at the window. The loud thud echoed through the house, and my rescuer popped her head outside.

She grabbed my feet – a shoe on one and a white sock on the other – and guided them toward the ladder as I eased myself down.

It was humbling.

I – a college graduate, a published writer, a newspaper editor – had gotten stuck on a roof. You won’t find me wearing a red cape anytime soon.

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Category: Blogs, News & Notes

About the Author (Author Profile)

Jacob Glassner

Jacob Glassner, News Editor/Plate Spinner
jacob@voice-tribune.com
502.897.8909

Jacob usually has his eyes glued to a computer screen, editing stories and making sure the paper gets out the door each week. Multi-tasking is his modus operandi – similar to the plate spinners you’d see on the old “Ed Sullivan Show.” Turn ons: freshly-sharpened pencils. Turn offs: exclamation points!!!

Comments (3)

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  1. Jill (aka) Wonderwoman Wright says:

    Loved this! You can borrow our ladder next time, (or Caleb’s cape. We have both.) Better yet, Christmas is just around the corner. You could ask for the “Red Ryder all-aluminum ten-foot folding ladder with a compass on the top rung and this thingy that tells time.”

  2. janet says:

    Jacob,
    Now that was an enjoyable read!

  3. Jcsbeatpage says:

    I live in Toronto, if you have a suggestion feel free to contribute..